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Female orgasm | 8 reasons why some women do not reach the climax BBC | Technology and science | science



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For many people, including researchers and doctors specializing in sexology, female orgasm is still a mystery.

Much has been written about the feeling of the woman's intense pleasure.

But not everyone succeeds in experiencing it. Some also confess that they have never known one.

Many factors affect orgasm, from psychological and emotional to physical and hormonal.

In BBC Mundo we investigated eight of them, which may cause the woman to not reach the climax.

Negative experiences from the past

If the woman has experienced a traumatic situation earlier that blocks her in her sexual relations, it is advisable that she can share with her partner or love what she feels so that she can be understood and supported.

But if that's something you do not want or can do it's important to seek special help to be able to face the trauma and seek out his well-being.

It's important that you can talk about it and that you can get professional assistance focused on it.

"In these situations you have to do a lot of individual work. It's very fragile because the situation he lived can cause him a lot of embarrassment or fear, and in some circles it may be rejected, "said Héctor Galván, clinical director of the Madrid Institute for Psychology and Sexology, to BBC News.

"There are women who (because of trauma) avoid masturbation and, in fact, inhibit sexual desire completely."

"You have to get to unite with sexuality in a very progressive way, leaving a little bit of sexuality so that it becomes common with physical contact with your own body and afterwards that you can get closer to sexual pleasure individually and when it is already well established, get closer to the couple, "said the clinical psychologist.

It is important that she is the one who decides when and how much information about what happened to her wants to share with another person.

"When a woman reaches the blocking point and is ashamed to explain what happened, It is preferable that you ask the couple that it costs them to disinfect and that he would like to work on the sexual issue individually without going into detail. After that, with the therapist, the problem is working confidentially. "

"The ideal would be to be able to talk openly with the couple, but it is better A person prefers to reserve a small part of his intimate world, but improve your sex life with your partner, never to do it, explained the sexologist.

To be in a hurry and stressed

Although Galván has had in her office women who have difficulty reaching orgasm for modesty or feelings of guilt rotten in a very conservative education, point out that they represent the smallest number of cases.

One of the most important factors observed in patients who have participated is stress as they reach sexual encounters.

"So the organism easily reaches orgasm There must be some relaxation quite high, "said the doctor.

"The organism may feel lust and excitement (which are the two earlier phases of orgasm) with some degree of stress and fatigue, but the last stage of the orgasm needs us to be relaxed."

And, in part, the stress is given by life in many people, with demanding jobs, schedules to meet, work time from home, in some cases with children to attend.

Even in those situations Some women may be tempted to fake orgasm not only that the sexual encounter does not take a lot of time, but in order not to hurt your sex party's ego, the clinical psychologist does not want to do it.

It is appropriate to speak and position the situation as something to improve.

Be quiet

Perhaps we should start from the slogan that in a sexual relationship nobody can guess exactly what the other person knows.

Of course you can read gestures and sounds, but preferably give feedback.

"Many find it difficult during the relations Go straight to the couple and ask for some changes, some adjustments, in sexual practice, "explained the obstetrician.

"In consultation we can meet a woman who explains it to us When she is reaching an orgasm, the couple changes the beat or he retires from penetration, but he has never told him. "

Therefore, the specialist said, an important focus for the treatment is to normalize communication not only before and after the sexual encounter, but below.

"They have to Be aware that the couple can not guess the physical sensations they have and what they need to reach orgasm. "

Another factor that Galvan and his expert group have found after treating some heterosexual patients are: premature ejaculation.

"It's the best profile that can reach us," says a clinical psychologist.

"Sometimes the woman comes alone because she is afraid of hurting her partner's pride and telling privately that The couple usually is very small and she does not have time to reach orgasm. It's good news to work for early release is technically quite simple. The solution is easier than if there are other problems. "

In the same case, it is recommended that the woman sets the situation for her partner.

"It's important to consider how to raise it. Does not make it a criticism or complainta, but something to improve. "

And according to the specialist, a semantic nuance can make the difference Do not generate anxiety in the couple.

"On the sexual issue, both men and women They have been filled with self-esteem, anxiety and insecurity"That's why it's basic to know how to make the proposals.

Sharp and ineffective stimulation

According to Galván, he has seen an improvement in heterosexual couples in recent years when he spent time on stimulation before penetration.

"Ten years ago, it was more common roles were more asymmetricthat the man was looking for his quick pleasure, but it has evolved. "

The problem is not that more or less time is spent in the preparatory phase, but on communication.

Among lesbian couples, there is usually more sexual dialogue, but the situation is different in some heterosexual relationships, experts say.

"In consultation many times, reality seems like Men and women usually do not masturbate their partners well because logically everyone not only understands the inner feelings that the other person has. "

The key is that the woman should explain to the couple (man or woman) what to do, how, at what rate and in what part of her body.

"Sometimes women say it to us You do not know how to stimulate clitoris or sometimes it causes some damage and when you ask them if they have spoken to the couple, they say they are not afraid to hurt their feelings or because they are ashamed. "

And in the process of stimulation, own masturbation may also be important for many women, not just before intercourse as a way of entering the excitatory and vaginal fluid (an important aspect to avoid discomfort at penetration) but later.

"There are women who start with the stimulus of the couple (through penetration) and They like to reach orgasm right at the end, stimulate themselves. Any formula is valid. "

Do not feel sexual desire

The United Kingdom National Health Service explains that lack of sexual desire can affect women in different stages of life.

For example, during pregnancy after having given birth, in situations of stress and menopause.

Depression, mental trauma, the use of certain medicines and hormonal disorders may affect at the time of having a sexual relationship and thus experiencing an orgasm.

NHS indicates it Sexual desire may decrease if natural testosterone levels of the woman falls.

Testosterone is produced in the ovarian and adrenal glands and if these organs are not working well, the woman will have some consequences, among them, in her sexuality.

That's why it's important to undergo Regular medical checks if there are endocrine problems.

If the problem is related to insufficient hormones like testosterone or estrogen, your doctor may recommend a hormone treatment.

the autoexigencia

The sexologist heard by BBC Mundo comments that when analyzing the profile of some of the patients in their center of attention, they find personality traits that tend to be one small controllers, obsessive and perfectionists.

"When a person who usually reached orgasm did not achieve it – and presents a self-demanding profile – from there he begins to observe himself, to check if he can reach orgasm and that attitude makes it impossible to achieve it because you have created a stress focused on your own achievement".

Before this, relaxation and enjoyment is again the key.

To have pain in the sexual relationship

On the gynecological field there are factors that also affect the woman's ability to reach orgasm.

One of them is vaginismus, which is involuntary contraction of the muscles in the lower part of the vagina, "make intercourse painful or impossible," explains NHS.

"It can happen if the woman associates sexual relationships with pain or with something" bad " or if you suffer from a vaginal trauma during delivery or episiotomy, "said the institution.

Another disease, says Galván, is dyspareunia, which causes women to feel deep pain, burning and discomfort during intercourse, even before and after intercourse.

In his opinion, it is even more common than vaginismus.

Dyspareuni can be caused by a physiological problem or infection and it is important to treat it because "When the brain makes the link between sexuality and pain, it will affect sexual desire and therefore sexual relations will be avoided. "

It is important that in the presence of a vaginal infection and dryness in that area, go to the doctor to get appropriate treatment as the consequences may go beyond sexual area.

"Pain during intercourse is common after menopause, for estrogen content decreases and the vagina feels dry, says NHS.

"It can affect a woman's sexual desire, though There are lubricant creams that can help"he adds.

Hidden couple problems

One of the last problems the specialist comments on is related to the relationship.

"Sometimes we get a pair of sexual problems like anorgasmia (absence of orgasm) at the woman and in the evaluation we do have problems in that relationship," said the doctor.

If so, the recommendation is to try to focus on solving the problems that affect not only sexual life but other areas of life as a couple.

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